you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
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He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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