The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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