speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Houston, we have a blender
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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