hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
