Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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