is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
