kristin has been a bad kristin
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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