I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I still have a little drunk in my system
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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