Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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