He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
