In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
