I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
do herpes really smell.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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