Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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