I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
