Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
