I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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