I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
