in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
