Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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