Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
