I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize