You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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