I wannas sexs uuuuu
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
