some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
