And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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