your parents love me but you hate me
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
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Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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