does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Boobs speak an international language.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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