did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
