I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
