Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
