GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
