508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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