nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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