i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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