then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
