Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
