Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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