..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
