we made out on top of his cat.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
