and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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