He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
