god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
