She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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