is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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