the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
