Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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