he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
