My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
