saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize