Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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