so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
