Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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