when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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