Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
