Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
