He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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