By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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