tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
