in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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