Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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