the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
