When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
