My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
