yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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