I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
