the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
