I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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