i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
