i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
