the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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