omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
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